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Archive for the ‘Idiots’ Category

On the 31st of May 2010 I had the pleasure of reading the most delightfully funny letter to the editor in my local newspaper.  The letter goes as follows;

The Origins of Ethics

Has anyone heard the one about ‘no scripture in schools’, only to be replaced with classes in ‘ethics’?  Whose ethics and on whose instructions?  Bible ethics have been around for ages and have proved to be just what the doctor ordered, but I have my doubts about the government’s morals.

Now I’m faced with a major ethical dilemma here, do I name the writer of the above letter giving her all credit due to such an intellectual masterpiece worthy of harsh scrutiny?  Or do I take the ethical and moral high ground of not naming the person who wrote that before I discuss how moronic they are?

What do I do?  Oh lady, master of ethics.  What  does the bible say I should do?

What doctor ordered this prescription of bible ethics? Where did you get that information?

Bible Ethics?

I think there is a major difference between classroom ethics and government morals as well.  I also think government ethics and morals are considerably different also.  Not that I can be bothered digging around to find the appropriate documentation and such.

Can somebody get this woman a one on one meeting with someone like Richard Dawkins.  Film it, post it everywhere.  Because I’d really love to see that discussion.

Tell me what you think in the comments.

Onto other stuff.

I didn’t do my May wrap up, and it’s nearly the end of June already.  I suck.

The Very Late May Wrap Up

Vampire AcademyCoonardooSuite ScarlettSuperman: Birthright
Scarlett FeverWill Grayson, Will Grayson
Books Read in May: 6
Authors Read in May: 6
Superman, Birthright – Mark Waid
Will Grayson, Will Grayson – John Green and David Levithan
Suite Scarlett – Maureen Johnson
Scarlett Fever – Maureen Johnson
Coonardoo – Katharine Susannah Prichard
Vampire Academy – Richelle Mead
Total Number of Pages in May: 1932pages

I have also began a top secret crochet project.  It’s only really top secret between me and the real world.  The internet is to be trusted keeping my top secret secret.  You can follow me on Twitter and watch as I progress through the gargantuan task I have created.

Here is the project so far.

Share photos on twitter with TwitpicThis was step one.  Designing where the colours would sit in the top secret crocheted blanket of secret.  There are four colours all up and then the white.

Share photos on twitter with Twitpic

The Second step, was to begin making exactly 16 coloured centres of each colour.  Clearly I started with Blue.

Share photos on twitter with Twitpic

Step Three and Four was to crochet around the coloured centre twice, with the white and the the blue again.

Share photos on twitter with Twitpic

Step Five was to crochet the final white bored of each square.  I am only half way through the pile.  But this is what the blue ones look like when complete.  Obviously when the blue stack is complete I will complete the first five steps for each colour.  Then the next step will begin.

I apologise for the horrid quality of the photographs.  I was lazy and used my phone.

Anyway next time I see you I will blog about True Blood and Vampires and Disappointments and things.

TTFN (Ta Ta For Now)

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I’ve been going to post all week and haven’t.  Finally I am , simply because my teacher unlike myself couldn’t be bothered coming today.  Lucky I was on time today.  Lucky I got here at 9am for my first class, which was as usual a total waste of time.

Thursday and Friday mornings consist of A subject called Contemporary Australian Society.  A subject that very much wastes a lot of my valuable time.  For this subject we sit in the library and work on our assignments.  I don’t know about you, but I can not work seriously when there are a thousand people traipsing around in front of me.  It is very distracting.

So after C.A.S ended my next scheduled class Human Rights which is supposed to start at 11am and finish at 1pm – has no teacher.  So another two hours wasted by waiting around.

When it reaches 1pm – I’m supposed to have lunch for half an hour.  Then from 1.30pm-3.30pm I sit around and wait until 3.30pm for my computing class to start.

Today is a waste of time.  Friday I hate you.

I especially hate you when I worked hard on an essay for Human Rights today, only to find the teacher not here.

I hate you when I can only use the TAFE computers and every single web page of interest is BLOCKED.  I can not access anything.

Home and Finn-Cat makes me happy.  Also helps that I got noodle box for dinner.

Ok, so now that I am home and over my hate filled day.  I have just realised today is the last day of April.  I’m going to do a little wrap up every month I’ve the books I’ve read from now on.  This month was not very good for reading, mainly because of the hospital thing and the being epically lazy thing.

Books read in April : 3
Authors Read : 3
The Time Travellers Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
Paper Towns – John Green
The Guernsey Literary Potato Peel Society – Mary Ann Shaffer
Number of Pages : 1166
Tears : Quite a few, definitely more than 9

Now for some Connections. (What a Pun!)

I am a little bit addicted right now to Dailybooth, you can follow me there if you like @RadioDarkness.  You might as well stalk me on Twitter if your that keen, which I doubt anyone is.  Here is a link anyway @RadioDarkness

Seven Awesome Things About This Week (excluding today)

1. I finished reading The Time Traveller’s Wife and I cried.

2. I then decided to watch the movie, I loathed Eric Bana’s accent in the beginning.  Then I forgot about it.  Then I cried again.

3. I did my Human Rights speech, it wasn’t amazing.  But at least I don’t have to do it again.

4. My friend from work had her baby.  Her and her fiancé named their little girl Maisie.

5. My new green cardigan.

6. Next week the new Sookie Stackhouse book ‘Death in The Family’ will be released.  It’s getting closer and closer until Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green arrives.  Yay, excitement for reading!

7. I got  a purple Hole Punch.  It is freakin’ awesome!

Well this doesn’t seem to be going anywhere else right now.

I’ll leave it here, and get back to it another day.

DFTBA peoples!

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For the first time in my life I went and got someone, a professional to correctly fit me into a bra. 

You know what?  A bra that actually fits, is the most comfortable, delightful experience that money can buy.

It’s all about the right cup size.

You’ve seen the girls with the bra’s that a clearly too small because you can see their breasticles being smooshed out of it under their t-shirts.  I can assure you, those girls are not comfortable.  Those girls probably have under wires poking in, in all the wrong places.

Here’s an example I found of a poorly fitted bra showing the breast being smooshed out the top.

This image was found at Bra Fitting Cicade

If you are worried about your uncomfortable poorly fitted boobies in a wrong sized bra, take note you are currently reading this on the internet.  Make use of your favourite search engine and look up how to fit a bra, if you are too shy to seek help from a professional.  There are YouTube videos which you can search for as well.

I love my new bra, I plan on getting more that actually fit right.  You should do it too.  Not only will your breasties feel extreme comfort and support they will look better too, because they wont be looking strangled and mangled by a bra that is too small.

Get Fitted.

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In our lives we require bathrooms because in our society we don’t pee wherever we feel like, well then again some of us do.

Filthy dirty women out there I’m talking to you.  By using the terms filthy, dirty and women, I am not discriminating anyone here at all.  Whether you be a lawyer, a housewife, a cashier, a public servant, a baker or even unemployed I mean you.  All of you.  All of you who are female.

Now girls, women (not ladies, none of you deserve that title) here are some hints that you can follow to improve MY public bathroom experience.

  • I don’t care how you approach the toilet (whether you sit on the seat, squat upon the seat, or hover above the seat) if you get your bodily fluids anywhere but in the receptacle provided (for the dummies I mean the toilet) – PLEASE WIPE THAT SPILLAGE UP BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE CUBICLE YOU CREATURE!  I’m sorry but more people than just you need to use the facilities, you aren’t an animal you don’t need to mark your territory.
  • When flushing – stand there, watch your flush.  Make sure any evidence of your existence is washed thoroughly through the S bend.  None of us want to see it.
  • Finger painting – This shouldn’t even need to be mentioned, most of us who use public toilets are grown ups and those of us who aren’t should be supervised.  I only mentioned this because the bathroom at my work is employee only, to be employed you have to be over 15 or something right?  It’s just interesting to think, someone I work with is this foul.
    • Special note to parents – When taking your kid to a public restroom and your little darling does finger-paint with his/her faecal matter, personally I think it is your responsibility to clean that SHIT up.  Why the heck should any other human being have to clean up that. Teach your kid it’s wrong. 
  • Feminine Hygiene Products – I don’t care how you were raised at home, but I wrap mine up and put them in the sanitary bins that are provided in public restrooms by Hygiene Product Disposal Companies.  Nobody sees them, I don’t leave mine lying on the floor.  I don’t drop mine on the floor next to the bin.  Nor do I write my name on the wall whilst using one like a dirty blood coloured crayon.  NOBODY ELSE ON THIS PLANET SHOULD SEE YOUR GRUBBY USED HYGIENE PRODUCTS, NOR WOULD THEY WANT TOO!!! (For the dummies Hygiene Products = Pads, Tampons etc..)
  • The toilet seat – When you finish, there should be no evidence you were ever there.  No crumbs, no stray pubic hair, no spillage, no anything.  Just a clean seat for the next person.

In conclusion, if I came to your house and did any of this filth in your personal bathroom, would you be happy?  I think not.  Just because public restrooms are cleaned by a paid employee, does not mean you have the privilege of acting like some kind of urine splashing, shit hurling cretin.  Leave behind no evidence, not even footprints.  Flush.

And for heavens sake…

 

WASH YOUR HANDS!!!

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Retail Employee Hell

Thoughts On Grocery Shopping

5 days till Christmas, chained to a cash register at one of the bigger supermarket chains in the country is enough to make anyone’s Christmas spirit wither and die.

You, with the iPod – While I’m serving you, please be considerate enough to pull your posh douche bag ear buds out of your ears and listen to me, so I can finish the damn transaction and serve the next butt face inline.

You, on the phone – Go back to the end of the queue, your too wrapped up in your own self-importance for me to give a shit about right now.

You, telling me how to do my job – If you can do it better, please be kind enough to serve yourself at the self-serve checkout.  Don’t come near me and get me involved in your bullshit life especially if you think you can do it better yourself.

You, with the Enviro bags – You know it doesn’t count if I put all your shopping in individual PLASTIC bags and then you put all of those bags into your enviro bag.

You, Mr Impatient – Shut the hell up you jerk, you had all year to get that crap.  5 days before Christmas I don’t think you have the right to pull ‘THE FACE’ at the customer in front especially when you are here for the same reason.

Everyone else – You know what you do and how lame you are.

Here are some tips you might want to hold onto for next year:

  • Soft Drinks and Junk Food generally have a VERY LONG SHELF LIFE, you can buy these for Christmas any time between January 2010 and November 2010.  Just make sure when you do buy them that they will still be valid for consumption for Christmas.
  • Fruit and Vegetables if stored correctly can last more than a day.  I suggest planning ahead.  Get them the week before Christmas day.  I really don’t know anyone who hasn’t got a refrigerator, put it to use.
  • Meat – same as above.  You can refrigerate and freeze this crap and it’s still good!! But I can understand if you do want to buy this last-minute.  Just time your shopping experience – avoid the lunch time rush and the dinner time rush.
  • Seafood – last minute too I suppose unless you’re getting frozen crap.

So if I see you coming through my check out with the surly jerk face and your trolley is full of crap you could have bought in September don’t complain if I’m not happy or enthusiastic about your ‘Me, Me, Me douche bag attitude.’  I don’t care about you or how much of a hurry you are in.

If your trolley has milk and fresh fruit and vegetables, fresh meat and eggs and the like, good for you.  Have a nice day and a very Merry Christmas.

Thoughts On Presents

Same as long life groceries morons.  Start your shopping MID YEAR!!!  You know who you have to get presents for.  Hell, the sooner you start the less stress and crazy queues you will have to deal with in December.

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